Sobriety is Not Punishment

Controversial statement: Sobriety isn’t a punishment. Wait… What??

Maybe you’re someone who hasn’t considered sobriety. Maybe your sober curious. Maybe you’re me 4 years ago. If you fit into any of these categories or anywhere in between you might have thought to yourself something like, “Why would I ever go sober? That sounds so boring; like being punished.” If you think this, you’re not alone. Believe me, I used to think that same thing not too long ago.

But know what, reader? I think I like you. I mean, you’re here… reading my blog… So I’m going to let you in on a little secret that those of us on the other side of drinking now know:

Sobriety is the exact opposite of punishment. Sobriety is powerful. Sobriety is freedom. Sobriety is the ultimate life hack. Don’t believe me? Read on, young Padawan.

Why might people think sobriety is boring? Well, let’s start with the word itself.

A friend recently brought this to my attention that the word “sober” connotes seriousness. It comes across as a level of gravitas that many of us are not looking for in our lives. So when we say that we are “sober” we are saying that we are serious, heavy, boring. This could not be further from the truth. Yes, maybe we laughed easily while throwing back the beers and cocktails but was that genuine? Was it connected to who we truly are? Back then I would have said, “Yes! this is who I am”. Now that I’ve removed alcohol, an altering substance, from the equation I’m learning that was not who I actually am. I never would have been able to figure that out while I was still imbibing.

Once I stopped drinking there was a definite learning curve. I had to ask myself questions like, “How do I like to have fun?” “Can things even be fun without alcohol” and, the biggest, most scary question of all: “Who am I?” So maybe that’s the issue; maybe asking those questions is difficult and scary and can feel a little punishing, especially if there’s a big gap between who you are with alcohol and who you are without.

The good news is that you get to take it slow or at whatever pace feels most comfortable. You don’t need all the answers right away. “I don’t know,” is answer enough. There’s a whole community out there choosing to be sober or sober curious. That community is growing! And know what? We’re cheering you on!